Goodbyes and I are like asparagus and ice cream

Things have just been so crazy around here! I've been so busy, and I'm going to be even MORE busy during the next week.

Tomorrow (well today): I'm spending the day with some my fabulous girls (Jessie, Alana, and Gretchen). They are amazing, and I can't wait until our photoshoot around Columbia/Cayce. It'll be a blast!

Saturday: We're having my birthday party with my family. Since I'm going to FL for my birthday/Thanksgiving, my family and I are having my birthday party on Saturday. I love my family so much and I especially love when we get together like this! I love you guys!

Sunday: I'm going to church and we're having our church's Thanksgiving dinner that night. CAN'T WAIT!

Monday: phewww I'm scared and anxious about this day. I have an appointment with my neurologist at 1:30 on Monday and I'm praying SO SO SO hard that I'll get some kind of date to go down to Charleston. It's been a long journey the past year from battling school to going on leave of absences from school, from test after test to ER trips, and from having to battle getting insurance to putting up with all this pain in the mean time. SO I'm hoping and praying that I'll get some kind of answers on Monday where I won't have to wait much longer for this.

Tuesday: I'm going to lunch with my Mawmaw for my birthday. I love my Mawmaw and spending time with her! and then Tuesday night, I'm spending the night with my cousins so we can head out to FL the next day.

Wednesday: MY 20TH BIRTHDAY! My 3 cousins and I are road tripping to FL for our Thanksgiving family reunion. My mom, grandparents, and everyone aren't able to come which bums me out terribly but I'm glad I get to go this year. I love my family so much!

Thursday: idk what I'm doing but my cousin Christopher and his mom, Amy are picking me up so I can stay with them the rest of the time I'm there and OF COURSE we're going to our favorite chinese restaurant like always one day that I'm down there (hopefully Thursday or Friday night) :)

Friday: I have the pleasure tp do my little cousin's Christmas portraits. Victoria is the CUTEST and I love her too death. So me, her, and Maria (my cousin and Victoria's mom) are heading to this pretty spot to shoot her Christmas portraits. CAN'T WAIT!

Saturday: Our Thanksgiving family reunion at my Aunt Bobbi and Uncle Buddy's house! I LOVE our family reunions. This reunion is on my Nanie's side of the family (my mom's mom) and I love it every year when we get together! My Grandpa's side of family has big reunions too (my mom's dad) which our Christmas reunion on that side of the fmaily is December 11th, and I can't wait! I love love LOVE being part of such a big family. My Nanie is 1 our of 9 and my Grandpa is 1 out of 7 or 8 BOYS! phewww I couldn't imagine growing up with that many siblings but I bet it would definitely keep you on your toes and be a lot of fun! :)

Sunday: I'm sadly going home :( I'm probably the WORST at goodbyes. Goodbyes and I are like asparagus and ice cream; they just don't mix too well.

Well that's my week in a nut shell pretty much. My head is spinning just thinking about it all but I CAN'T WAIT! <3

My How Time Flies....

So I haven't updated in almost a week. There's been a lot going on lately that it feels like I can't keep up. Not much went on on the 27th or 28th but Friday I hung out with my friend Jackie all day. We went up to the high school to visit two of my teachers (aka my 2nd mommas). I got the chance to sit down and talk with Mrs. Ray some. I missed her so much! I miss our talks everyday when I was in high school and then the talks and movie nights we would have once I graduated and went off to college. So it was really great to see and talk to her. I didn't get the chance talk with Mrs. Moore because she was in a little meeting with another teacher but we're gonna get together soon and catch up.

Friday night I went to Lexington's Homecoming game with Jackie and I got the pleasure to meeting little 4-year-old Bobby, his dad, and some of his little friends. Bobby is the cutest little thing. He's so precious! Lexington won their homecoming game 69-20. I love Homecoming. I get to see so many people I went to school with and it's just a time to go back to where you came from. I love it!

Saturday afternoon, I babysat Dakota for a little bit while my mom went shopping. Then Saturday night, we went to our church for Fall Festival. I had a photoshoot I had to do at the church the whole time so I was unable to join my mom and brother on their adventures through our church and other churches, but I DID manage to earn $135 that night. I hung out with my friends Jessie and Michael afterwards and Jessie slept over and we watched the Chucky movies with Dakota until 3 in the morning. It was a blast!



Yesterday was a blah day. I was unable to go to church due to lack of sleep and headaches being real bad. So I just relaxed pretty much the whole day while I babysat Dakota and hung out with Jessie before she had to leave at 2. When my mom got home, her and I went to Michael's. I love love LOVE that store! I spent $62 in there but it was all worth it. I got some stuff to scrapbook and little props for fall pictures and what not. I ALSO got some ZEBRA PRINTED DUCKTAPE! I got way too excited over this lol. Then we went to Firehouse Subs (but I went to Tokyo Grill and got a shrimp bowl DELISH!). And of course Dakota got Burger King. So we all had something different lol. Then me and Dakota watched some Halloween movies which I stayed up WAY too late doing and editing pictures.

Today, I was still blah and it was kind of a not so great day to be honest with you.
My mom took me to Best Buy to see if I could get a new charger. I got a new one in the mail Friday but it was destructive. The part where you stick in the computer was a separate piece from the actual cord that plugs into the wall and it kep on popping out when I moved my laptop just a tiny bit. I lost the dern thing twice and just got fed up with it. So of course the geek squad dude wouldn't give us another one. Instead, he stretched it and pushed it really hard together and told us if it pops out again that they could order me another one and use this one until the new one got here. URGHHH!! Why in the WORLD would they make a charger like that, REALLY?!?! The geek squad dude was an idiot. So for right now, I duck taped the dern thing (with my new zebra ducktape of course) so it won't go anywhere and I won't lose it in the dang couch again for the third time! We're gonna call them tomorrow and ask if they'd send us another one but one that does NOT come apart in 3 different places urghhh!

I'm also upset that my insurance company has yet to send me a letter with my insurance card and stating that I can actually use my insurance. We paid them the first payment almost 3 weeks ago and it went it cleared that they got it almost 2 weeks ago. So it's been very frustrating. We're gonna call them tomorrow and ask them what's up with all of this because I DESPERATELY need to go down to Charleston to get this procedure/surgery done. I've been waiting a long time and I'm getting very impatient. I know it's all in God's time and in His hands and not mine. I just pray so hard I can get this letter soon. It's all I'm waiting for and it seems like the insurance company is taking their sweet time. By the time I get it, we'll have to be paying the 2nd payment and that's just not right. I've had such bad luck with health insurance since I turned 18 and it's just ridiculous. Just because I'm an adult, why should I be treated differently? Urghh! I'm just praying real hard about this!

I also have to make a doctor's appointment and see if she can't help me with my asthma. I stopped taking my asthma medicine a year ago once I started having seizures and taking medicine for that because it seemed like my asthmas was going away with occassional little asthma attacks so I haven't needed any of it but I've had the hardest time breathing the last 2 days and I'm getting really uncomfortable. So hopefully I can get an appointment for Wednesday. Phewww!!!!

Ok, enough venting. I'm really tired, and I'm thinking about going to bed but I doubt my brain will let me. So I bid you all goodnight and sweet dreams. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday! Hoping I don't get too frustrated with these calls I have to make tomorrow. <3>

1 2 3 4 get yo butt out the door :)

Pheww! Today was a little fun. But I was a VERY bad girl and slept until 3:30!!! I couldn't sleep last night and I FINALLY got to sleep arounf 5:30 this morning after I took a Valium (my muscle relaxer for my seizures). So in other words, I wasted my day away and I'll probably be up all night and then this will continue to be a big cycle. I'm DEFINITELY a night owl for sure. 10 minutes after I got up, my brother comes in the door (quietness goes out the window the milli-second he comes in the door! lol). He comes in and before he even puts his bookbag and coat down, he's yap yap yap yap yap. I swear on the life of french toast his mouth runs a hundred miles a minute! But I love him all the same.

I fixed him an after school sandwich and in the process, OF COURSE he was talking my ear off. (I've had to glue that thing back on too many times to count ha!). He told me, "Mariah, I love you a little more than I do Amber." I responded with, "why is that? You know you should love everyone equally, right?" He says, "yes, but I go WEEKS without seeing Amber and I only go a few days or hours without seeing YOU!" (our sister has been married for a year now and has been moved out of the house for awhile so it's only been him and me here for awhile). He goes on and says, "Mariah, when you are close to someone and you don't see them for a year, don't you like when you get to spend a few days or hours with them?" I said, "of course, sweetheart!"

I love when Dakota comes home from school (even if the quietness flies out the window). I get so bored during the day since I can't go to school or have a job or drive. It's a bummer but I've gotten to enjoy a lot of things that I wouldn't usually be able to do very often if I could go to school or have a job or drive. But ANYWAY, I love it when Dakota gets off of the bus from school. He's just too cute with this little eager grin on his face just waiting to tell me what he did at school and everything. After we come in the house, get a snack, and check his homework, we go outside and take a walk or go up to our grandparents' house to play with the puppy (he's almost not a puppy anymore. He's getting SO BIG!) Today, we went outside and he took some pictures of me aroud our grandparents' house. He LOVES to take pictures and I bravely let him use my [very expensive] camera just as long as he has the strap around his neck. He says today, "I'm a really good photographer. Almost as good as YOU!" I told him, "the student always surpasses the teacher in most areas." He just grinned and told me he loved me.

When my momma got home, we went to go pick up my pictures that I entered in the fair, and I was a little disappointed because the wires broke on both pictures which is why the judge didn't consider mine. I thought that was VERY silly. upppp the wire's broken, so we're not gonna look at this one. urghh oh well, there's always next year and I'll be PREPARED this time!

Afterwards, we stopped by McDonalds and while my momma was ordering, me and Dakota went outside to the playground so he could play. My INTENTIONS were to just watch Dakota play but NOOOOO he wanted ME to go up with him. Now, he's bigger and taller than I am (have no idea why me and Amber were stuck to being short and he gets to sky high with the trees and birds lol), BUT that doesn't mean my bones and muscles are younger. So I climb up there with him and oh my GOODNESS it killed my knees after I got out. He wanted me to go to the tippy top but I said NO WAY! lol. He just laughed and laughed. I love his little laugh!

While we were in the car, we were listening to this song on the Christian radio and I FELL IN LOVE with it. I quickly rushed in the house to come look it up and I've been listening to it over and over again. It's called "He Is With You" by Mandisa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3CVlv2dz3w&ob=av2e

We got home and I saw the most gorgeous sunset so of course I ran and took a picture on it :)


Dakota and I decorated his little Halloween bucket he got with his kids meal. I think I got more excited than he did lol. It was just TOO cute!

Then we just rested a bit and watched movies and a few tv shows. And I fixed me and Dakota some vegetables. YUMMY! :)


It seems like today just draggggggged on even though I've only been awake but 9 hours now lol.

Great things come in small packages. Enjoy the little things in life.

I love the little itty bitty things during the day...

like

- making NEW things

images by: ©MariahSimonsPhotography

I made these Wizard of Oz character hats for my momma. She's a die hard Wizard of Oz fan so I thought I'd make these for her because she's such a great mom and always has been, especially lately when she's been taking care of me with my seizures. Momma if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! :)

- staying in my pajamas,
sipping Tension Tamer herbal tea with Vanilla Caramel coffee creamer,
and watching a good tv show

Speaking of the tv show, I love Judge Judy! She appeared on The Talk this afternoon. She was talking about her blended family and how they all celebrate holidays. Her, her husband, her ex-husband, and her husband's ex-wife celebrate holidays all under the same roof with their kids and grand-kids. She said that her husband and ex-husband aren't friends but they respect each other as people and realize that they need to come together for their children's sake and not theirs so that their kids don't have to choose which family to go to during holidays...and vice versa for her and her husband's ex-wife. I thought that was just AWESOME! We need more blended families like that.

- finding [old] pictures
with my Nanie ♥

I scanned some today and just fell in love with the memories all over again. They also gave me some great inspiration for a new project. :)

- being bored :)

did you know that if you cut a

HEART

from an apple
first thing in the morning
and eat it with your
breakfast
your words will

love

heal

and

give hope

all day long?

well now you know. :)

- black olives on a cheese pizza

My momma cooked frozen cheese pizza and added black olives to it and it was DELISH!

- the smell of
peaches and cream oatmeal
cooking in the microwave

I made some peaches and cream oatmeal and decided to put 2 packs in my bowl. Well come to find out, the 2nd pack had blueberries in it INSTEAD OF peaches but it tasted really good :)

I made Koda Bug the bananas and cream oatmeal, and he ate it ALLLL up. :)

- the sound of my little brother
laughing

He has the sweetest little laugh and it cracks me up!
*laughter....it enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give; it happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever; it creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friendship; it is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature's best antidote for trouble; yet it cannot be bought, borrowed, begged or stolen for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody 'til it is given away.* :D
~unknown~

- a good HALLOWEEN movie :)

I love this time of year. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love breaking out the l o n g sleeved shirts and scarves.

I love carving pumpkins, the fall leaves,

hay rides, hot tea, roasted pumpkin seeds, baking pies, my church's Fall Festival (which I am honored to be asked to photograph the event) and fall family portraits (which is a new thing we're starting). :)

- listening to some good music
*Music tells a story for all of us. It helps us understand things about life and love and how it feels to live and be loved. It gives us inspiration and hope for all the days of our lives. It gives us prospect to keep pushing for our dreams.*
~ me, myself, and I~

- and finally:

having the ability to have clean running water, electricity, warmth for the cold, coldth for the warm, a roof over my head, food in my tummy, air for my lungs, clothes for my body, medicine for my pain, things that I don't need but are able to have, the necessities that I do need to stay healthy, a momma and a daddy who love me unconditionally, great family and friends, a loving church family, and last but certainly not least: a loving and forgiving God.

Today was a good day. It's been a better day than what I've been having and for that, I thank God. I struggle some days but it's days like this that I know there truly is a God. A God who gives me hope that even though I may have rough days, I still have good ones somewhere in the middle. A God who carries me on the rough days telling me He's here with me and lifts me up on the good days telling me He's right behind me in case I fall. ♥

So with that, I bid you goodnight. :)

Loved Ones and Memories

Say a little prayer for my stepmomma today. Today marks the 15th anniversary of her mother's passing. Her mother died of cancer at the age of 45. I never got the chance to meet Laura, but I know she was a great mother because Tammy is a great mother towards me when she never even had to be but still does even after the years of her and my dad being divorced. Tammy has told me a lot of great things and wonderful memories her and her momma shared, and I enjoy hearing them every time I see or sometimes talk to Tammy! "Memories are a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." She's getting the chance today to visit her mom's resting place to put flowers there and to just sit down and talk with her. I have no idea what she's going through right now but my stepmomma is strong, and I know today will be a sad day but also a very special day. Tae, I'm thinking and praying for you today. I love you so much!

"Comfort, nevertheless, I am continually with you. I will hold you by the hand." Psalm 73:23 <3

There is something to be said for a place that feels like home...

Epilepsy (n.): a disorder of the central nervous system characterized by loss of consciousness and convulsions.

I was diagnosed with this on July 30th, 2009 but had symptoms of it in January of 2008 and in May of 2009. It has taken a great toll on my life and the lives of some people around me who have had to witness me go through all of this. I've had to give up opportunities like being able to drive, go to school, get a job, and some of the simplest day-to-day tasks that I would normally be able to do by myself. I've passed out here and there, wondered what part of my body will I hurt next, wondered who would find me with my next seizure and fall-out, worried not only myself but a lot of people around me, wondered why me and why now and why not when I'm older or just plain out NEVER, got angry at God at some points, and been scared out of my mind. I've been poked, pricked, have had test after test run on me, and have met too many doctors to count. I've laid in hospital beds wondering when I'll get out and when will someone give me good answers and not unknown or obvious answers or none at all. I've prayed harder in the last year than ever before. I've taken up hobbies to pass the time until I'll finally be "normal" again. I've been in more pain than I can count. I've shed more tears than laughed smiles.

'There is something to be said for a place that feels like home. A place that, despite the changes that go on in our lives every moment of every single day, will be there the same as it has been every time before, ready to welcome you back with arms wide open"....and in a way, my epilepsy is my home. Not saying when I get better that I want to go back to being sick or in pain. No, I'm not saying that at all. But I want to be able to go back to the home where I was strong. To look back and remember that I was strong enough to give up all the things I couldn't or shouldn't do...strong enough to know that all the aches and the pains where I would hurt myself from falling, were being healed by the Lord...strong enough to be courageous and trust in the Lord when I wondered if I would be alone with my next seizure because I was never alone, the Lord was with me...strong enough to know that I had so many people caring and praying for me, strong enough to admit that I needed those peoples' help when I couldn't exactly help myself, and strong enough to keep those people in my life no matter how aggrating it got or how frustrated I got at them for doing so much for me when I couldn't do those things for myself...strong enough to trust in the Lord and be patient for Him when I asked Him, "why me," because He picked me for a reason; not to punish me but to make me strong and help others be as strong one day...strong enough to know that the Lord was being patient for me when I got angry at Him and that it was okay to be angry at Him at times but to talk to Him and pray about it when I did get angry and know that He'd forgive me and give me the answers and the healing I need...strong enough to admit that I was scared and instead of running from my fears, turning to the Lord when I was scared...strong enough to let the Lord ease my troubles and my fears and help me give it all to Him and to trust Him with every move I make...strong enough to take the pain and be a trooper when doctors had to do what they had to do by poking, pricking, and testing me...strong enough to lay in those hospital beds with a little bit of patience and just lay there while I listen to the Lord on what He'll do next...strong enough to pray and wait patiently on the Lord to give me answers on His time and not mine...strong enough to let the Lord shape me into the woman I was meant to be by giving me the talent of photography and painting and so many other things and letting me enjoy those things while I don't have the stress of driving, school work, having a job, and doing those simple things in life....strong enough to shed those tears instead of bottling them up...strong enough to share everything I went through with certain people that were and still are in my life...strong enough to not give up and give into the temptations of the devil...strong enough to hold on, even if it was by a thread and even if I felt like I didn't have anymore fight in me...and finally...strong enough to stand up and walk through the rain when I felt like I couldn't get up from the storm

....and when I'm able to drive, have a job, go to school, and do the simple things I can do on my own, I want to be thankful for those things and look back on how strong I was.


Song:
"Away beyond the blue.
One star belongs to you.
This life is but a dream.
Go gently down the stream.
Is nind se, Prabhu, kya mujheuthaoge?
(From this steep, Lord will you wake me?)
Is swapan se, Prabhu, kya mujhe jagoge?
(From this dream, Lord will you wake me?)
Tum hi mai dubu, Turn hi mai uthu,
(In thee I dive, in thee I rise,)
Tere sagar me, Tum hi me
(In thy sea, in Thee.)
Tere sagar me, Tum hi me"

"Beyond the Blue" by Beth Nielson Chapman

Prayer:
Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for all the little things that come my way because that is when I hear and see you the most. I thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. I thank you for all of the people you bring into my life and how you let those people shape me and guide me through life like you would and do. I thank you for every day that you heal me and help me get closer and closer to being healthy. I thank you for always holding me up. I thank you for all the times where I only saw one set of footprints in the sand because those footprints were not mine where I walked alone, but they were YOUR footprints where you carried me. In your Heavenly name I pray, Amen.